Do you ever feel like you’re doing it wrong?

loneliness in parenting teenagers

‘Why does no one blog about parenting teenagers?’ 

That was the plea that came across the internet a few nights ago and it’s one I’ve asked myself on numerous occasions.

When our children reach the age of 13, it’s tumble weed on social media. I imagine this is largely due to the fact that our children are there too and it suddenly feels like a betrayal to mention their less than desirable antics. Or maybe we are scared that they might turn the tables on us!

When they are younger, we blog/tweet away in blissful ignorance, talking about temper tantrums in supermarkets, sibling rivalry and the odd funny/cute story. None of this ends when they become teenagers and in fact I would go as far to say that we need the moral support more than ever.

Parenting teenagers is hard. All three of my children are unique with different love languages, interests, quirks and personalities. It stands to reason that they will relate to us in different ways, get into different scrapes and have different ways of communicating.

In many ways I love watching them grow and develop into their own personalities but sometimes it’s hard watching them walk into risky situations and potentially make some fairly catastrophic life decisions.

That’s when we need one another. That’s when we need to know we aren’t alone. That’s when we need to hear the voice of another parent of teenagers (or one who has been before), reaching out in solidarity.

Who do you turn to when you think you’re doing it wrong? I am fortunate enough to have a few people in my life who I feel I can ask advice from and know that they’ll give me an honest answer, but many people don’t.

If you’re feeling lonely in this world of parenting teenagers, please know that you’re not the only one who feels like they’re doing it all wrong. If you don’t know anyone who you can turn to for solidarity then you’ll find me on the other end of an email or a DM on social media. Don’t be a stranger.

* * *

This post was written in response to a 20-minute writing challenge from the fabulous ‘Mother of Teenagers’ (she’s well worth looking up if you have teenagers!) who wrote a powerful piece entitled Adding Insult to Injury.

The rules:

1. In 20 minutes you are to create your post, including writing, checking, proofreading, editing and adding any images.

2. Mention the person who gave you the challenge and include a link to their website.

3. After 20 minutes you must publish what you have created.

4. You are free to write about any topic you choose.

5. Once you have done, you must choose three of your blogging friends to do the challenge, include links to their website.

6. Let your challenge nominees know via Twitter.

I challenge:

Sarah from Mum of Three World
Stacie from Parker & Me
Jen Faulkner – the one who sparked this post

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17 Comments

  1. Sue
    November 13, 2018 / 10:50 am

    I remember feeling like this when mine were teenagers. I love teenagers, love seeing their personalities and who they will be emerging but also longing for the terrible twos back that were nothing on teenagers! Now they are adults with their own lives but you still don’t stop worrying about them and they still come to you when they have a problem.

    • Suzanne W
      Author
      November 13, 2018 / 6:16 pm

      Yes I think everyone feels like this when they are parenting teenagers, Sue but not many people are brave enough to put their hand up and say they are struggling. It can be a very lonely place to be when you feel like you’re the only one. There’s a need for solidarity!

      • Sue
        November 13, 2018 / 7:36 pm

        Fortunately I had friends going through the same things at the same time and we supported each other

  2. November 13, 2018 / 12:18 pm

    Great post! Let me have a think about my own… I usually write them in about 20 minutes, but you can double that for adding images, links and proofreading, so it’s a bit of a challenge!

    • Suzanne W
      Author
      November 13, 2018 / 6:15 pm

      I usually procrastinate when writing posts so this was a good exercise for me. I think I might do it more often!

  3. November 13, 2018 / 12:34 pm

    I feel a little tearful reading this. My blog has been stifled due to some of the worst experiences of teenage parenting. Just when I need it, I am silenced.

    • November 13, 2018 / 3:01 pm

      Oh Janet I am so sorry to hear this. Please know you are not alone and like Suzanne I am on the end of an email or DM. Parenting teenagers is tough and please reach out if you need to xx

      • Janet
        November 14, 2018 / 5:58 pm

        Thank you x

    • Suzanne W
      Author
      November 13, 2018 / 6:14 pm

      Jan, I’m so sorry that you feel isolated and alone. I know first hand what that feels like. Please know that you can message me any time you like, even if just for a rant. Parenting teenagers can be a hard, lonely and worrying place to be. Sending much love to you.

      • Janet
        November 14, 2018 / 5:59 pm

        Thank you x

  4. November 13, 2018 / 3:06 pm

    Suzanne, despite me never meeting you face to face, you were my rock when I needed somebody a few weeks ago, and I appreciated you being there. There is SO much I could write about on the internet, but like Janet I am silenced but happy to talk about our parenting journey in private. Ah it’s such a tough subject, as we need more people to write about teenagers. Teenagers are unique beautiful souls, whilst being complete pains in the bum from time to time. You have done well to do all this in 20 minutes, I think I would still be starring at the page xx

    • Suzanne W
      Author
      November 13, 2018 / 6:14 pm

      I still can’t believe that we’ve never met face to face! Always here to listen, any time Tracey. You know I understand. xx

  5. November 14, 2018 / 3:13 pm

    I feel way out my depth sometimes when it comes to parenting my 12-year old. They told me that having a baby at 19 would be hard. I think babies are the easy part. Why don’t they come with manuals?

    • Suzanne W
      Author
      November 27, 2018 / 5:42 pm

      Looking back, I think babies were easy too, even toddlers! I’ve often longed for that manual and it only gets harder so we all need to stick together. xx

  6. November 15, 2018 / 12:03 am

    Suzanne as you know I started my blog from a starting point of there needing to be a forum and more importantly a community for parents of teens. The challenges whilst different are not necessarily all bad but there is a benefit to us all in sharing our experiences through every stage. Thank you for responding to the challenge. Personally I hate them but on this occasion I felt honoured to be elected and had something to say so it was an easy one. As an aside I am writing this glass of wine in hand having been to see the most powerful production of teenage angst I have ever seen. It was a great reminder of the challenges our teens face and will have to find a quiet moment to share it all. X

    • Suzanne W
      Author
      November 27, 2018 / 5:43 pm

      I would so love to set up a forum/Facebook group or something of that kind. I’ve often thought about it but I think the response would be so overwhelming that I would never cope with it! Our teens do face so many challenges today, many more that we ever did. In turn, we as parents have to take it on the chin and it’s nigh on impossible.

  7. November 27, 2018 / 7:28 pm

    Oh this is a lovely post! I too was asked by the lovely Jo to come up with a post in 20 minutes and it’s a really good idea! No editing nonsense!
    Haha you are right though that there are Soooo many parenting bloggers for babies, toddlers and school children. Do you think it’s because they’ve just.had.enough. When their kids get to 13! I’ve absolutely loved mine when they are teenagers! It’s tough but there are so many moments that you just have to laugh as they can be so funny too. Lovely post and good luck!

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