Disclaimer: This post is written with tongue (loosely) in cheek
You may recall that during lockdown, our beloved rescue dog, Pippa, passed away. This triggered a period of mourning and, if I’m being honest, impulsive decision-making on my part. If you’re familiar with the Enneagram, you will understand that for a Type One, this is hugely out of character.
After two days spent googling ‘cute, affectionate dogs’ I was 100% convinced that a miniature dachsund is what we needed to make our family feel complete again. Pretty quickly, 4 out of 5 of us were on board with the idea. It doesn’t take a genius to realise that if 80% of a group are in favour, the remaining 20% doesn’t stand a chance…
A mere 7 days later and “we” had put a deposit down on the last one of a litter in Pangbourne, Berkshire. Surely fate had brought us together?
I’m an experienced dog owner (we’ve had our other dog for 12+ years); all dog owners know not to acquire a dog on a whim, right? Apparently, grief knocks all of those rational thoughts right out of your head.
It therefore seemed only right that I give anyone else who is contemplating taking a miniature dachsund into their home, a reality check. Just so you know what you are letting yourself in for…
8 Reasons Not to Get A Miniature Dachsund
1. They won’t go outside when it’s raining
As a breed, they are small but they are fierce. When they decide they don’t like something, there is absolutely no persuading them. Take her outside in the rain and she comes straight back inside to do her business on the floor.
2. Separation anxiety is real
By separation anxiety, I mean following you into the toilet, howling at the bottom of the stairs every time you go up, needing to snuggle up as close to your face as possible. At all times.
3. Phantom pregnancies are a thing
You heard it hear first and it’s even more common in miniature dachsunds. Having just experienced the second season, hormones have a LOT to answer for.
4. IVDD is a serious concern
Not heard of IVDD? Neither had I until a few months after we welcomed Bonnie into our home. Everyone knows that dachsunds have long backs, this causes a strain on their spine and in some dogs, a serious injury will develop into IVDD. Let me just say that you won’t see change from £10K if your little pooch requires treatment.
5. They don’t like people (unless it’s their own tribe)
Miniature dachsunds are loyal to the core; once you’re in their pack, you’re there to stay. But woe betide you if you attempt to stroke them, make eye contact, or enter the room they are in, if you are not one of said pack.
6. You can’t shut them up
Crying, talking, moaning, shouting, persuading, nagging, requesting – they have a different voice for everything and there’s no mistaking what they want. One piece of advice: do not give in under any circumstances.
7. Fear rules their behaviour
Joining a few Facebook groups for miniature dachsund owners, has led me to discover that the majority of these lovable creatures suffer from anxiety. This means that they often react out of fear, making them seem (I use this term loosely) aggressive.
8. They are untrainable
Artistic license allows me to exaggerate slightly, but boy has any training progress been slow! Be prepared for many setbacks where toileting is concerned, and this breed’s tenacity for getting what they want deserves an award.
Past the Point of No Return
I remember asking a friend not long after we picked up Princess Bonnie (as we have affectionately named her) why no one had told me the real truth about miniature dachsunds. Her measured response? “I don’t think you would have listened, you were past the point of no return”.
She wasn’t wrong.
On a serious note, many dogs purchased in lockdown have since ended up in rescue centres, which is beyond sad. I would never advise ANYONE to get a dog without researching the breed and thinking the consequences through fully beforehand.
Please know that we (well 80% of us anyway!) are totally smitten with Bonnie and would never consider giving her up. Yes she’s a menace, but she’s also extremely lovable, cheeky, full of personality and we wouldn’t be without her. Just tell me it gets easier!
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