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Inside Soul-Searching

Life in Lockdown {Something and Nothing}

Cow Parsley

I fear that my blog is in danger of becoming very ‘samey’ as I publish weekly posts about this weird time in our lives. The problem however, is two-fold: 1) doing very little is not conducive to creating exciting content; 2) unlike others who appear to have transformed their houses during this pandemic, I remain stuck in a weird parallel universe that has sucked me dry of any motivation or focus.

So for now, I will continue pouring out the content of my addled brain, whilst hopefully making you feel a bit better about yourself in the process.

Week Eight and the PM’s Announcement

Week 8 of lockdown has seen me remove myself from Twitter, mentally redecorate every room in the house (I’ve added and removed the necessary decorating materials from my online basket three times over), all whilst trying to decipher exactly what our PM intended to communicate on Sunday evening.

You will of course know by now that my prediction last week, of some wishy-washy guidelines left wide open to (mis)interpretation, came true. The fact that the press had built up the grand announcement to be a lifting of lockdown, didn’t help. Then of course there was the tiny fact that the 50-page document wasn’t in circulation until the following day, which meant that we were left with bare bones and no meat. All four of us watched the same announcement but managed to interpret the content differently, causing a lot of unnecessary discord – cheers Boris!

It was another three days before we concluded that in fact nothing much had changed, except for the fact that we could go back to work if we were unable to do so from home (wasn’t that the same as before?) and we could meet up with one person outside of our immediate family, at a distance of 2 metres. Oh and did I mention that angling and golf are back on the agenda? Some funny memes did the rounds on Facebook and Twitter got nastier as the week went on.

Working Out Some Social Media Boundaries

This whole situation has really brought out the worst in some people and I’ve realised that I need to set boundaries with regard to social media or it’s likely to do the same to me. When lockdown was first announced, I knew that we were in danger of turning on each other. Without clear guidelines, I think that this was sadly inevitable.

This week in particular, it feels as though people have been picking arguments for the sake of it and judging others without knowing the full story. Teachers have taken an unnecessary bashing and as some people have started bending the lockdown rules, it has caused others to get angry, particularly those who are shielding.

Everyone appears to have an opinion (a different one) on social media and filters have all but disappeared. My response was to remove myself from Twitter for a few days. Since then, I’ve decided that my number one aim needs to be pausing before I type, giving me time to consider if my words are helpful or add value in any way. The ‘snooze’ option on Facebook has come in handy and I am trying to scroll past any particularly heated debates on Twitter.

The Lockdown Effect

I’ve spent much of week 8 feeling a bit deflated. Despite knowing that lockdown remains necessary at the moment, realising that we are going into another three weeks of the same old same old, is quite hard on everyone. Interestingly, my son isn’t keen to go back to school (he’s never been a lover of hard work and early mornings!) but not seeing friends is a bigger challenge. My youngest daughter is starting to realise that she probably won’t be required at her place of work until much later in the year and her plans to go travelling next year may well be thwarted.

It’s an unsettling time for all and I’ve been reminded yet again that the only way to manage this is one day at a time; looking too far forward is a waste of mental energy. This week I plan to go back to work, just two days a week in an office that is able to adhere to the social distancing rules. I think it will be good for me to inject a bit of normality, not to mention a much-needed distraction from Twitter!

PS One good thing that came out of Boris’ speech – we finally got to see our eldest daughter for 30 minutes at the weekend! Thank you for all of your good thoughts, prayers and kind comments 🙂

Inside, Outside & Beyond

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8 COMMENTS

  • Gail

    Oh I’m so glad you got to see your daughter, Suzanne, that’s wonderful. I can understand your concerns about social media though. Strangely, I’ve found myself getting less and less interested in social media these last few weeks. I’m not really active on Twitter at the best of times, I find confrontation really unsettling (for whatever reason, I’ve tended to think there’s a bit more of it on there). I’m not posting anything on my blog just now that isn’t about lockdown life either. I really enjoy hearing about how other people are doing, so don’t worry about being samey – love your posts. X

    • Suzanne

      I honestly can’t think of anything else to write, Gail! I’ve really enjoyed using this space as a kind of online diary. I think I will be pleased to look back on it in years/decades to come. You’re right in thinking that Twitter is more confrontational and actually, I don’t really like confrontation either so not sure what I’m doing there half the time! Usually there’s a good mix but just lately it feels pretty nasty and opinionated. xx

  • Sarah MumofThree World

    So glad you got to see your daughter. That is definitely one good thing that came out of the wishy-washy statement.
    Nothing has changed here either, apart from my eldest has been to meet a friend twice. It’s been good for him as he is finding lockdown hardest. I don’t think the other kids are bothered about seeing friends at all.
    Twitter is definitely full of crap at the moment. Everyone has their own opinions, which is fine, but they shouldn’t use them to judge (and be horrible to) other people. I haven’t come off it, but I don’t let myself get drawn into even reading the debates and I definitely won’t comment on them!
    Good luck with going back to work. I hope the change of scene is good for you.

    • Suzanne

      I’ve really enjoyed going back to work actually, it has been good for me. I’ve also tried to be more mindful when on Twitter!

  • BLEKE

    Suzanne,

    You were saying a few days ago, in a comment, that you were concerned your blog had become a niche blog. I should think most blogs occupy a niche, and most long-running blogs occupy a series of niches, as the blogger’s life changes and develops over the years. When I started reading your blogposts, IIRC two of your children were still at primary school. You’ve moved onward from the “three children and a dog” niche to the greater challenges of your present “teenagers / MH / lockdown / etc” niche. I hope you don’t stay very long in that niche, but only because I hope certain imporant matters are swiftly and satisfactorily resolved! Pending that resolution, I’m looking forward to next Monday’s blogpost.
    We’re into week nine of lockdown, and after an all-too-brief nap, those squabbling tots are at it again — I mean the ones in the mainstream media, on social media, and at (virtual) Westminster. Let’s not focus on their antics; it would only encourage the little show-offs…
    Easing yourself back into work part-time sounds just about right.

    • Suzanne

      Thank you for your encouraging and well thought out comment, once again. I’m so glad that you continue to come back to read, week after week. As you say, it makes sense that we all of our niches that come and go. This blog was intended to be a space for me to write whatever I like, whenever I like. As you say, I just don’t want to stay in this place for too long!

  • Cris A Santos

    So glad to hear that life is slowly getting back to normal and I am sure soon we will be fully into our daily routines. I do not tolerate cyber bullying or any type of bullying I block any glimpse of unkind people in my social media so well done for coping with this terrible behaviours Have a wonderful weekend xoxo Cris
    http://www.photosbycris.com.au/?p=6040

    • Suzanne W
      AUTHOR

      It has been particularly nasty of late, hasn’t it? I think blocking is sometimes the only way, sadly.

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