Today is my birthday, I am the ripe old age of 45. I still can’t decide whether 45 is old or I am in fact in my prime. My grey hairs and creaking joints tell me the former, whilst my penchant for Top Shop and body spray indicates the latter. Perhaps that is what the term ‘middle age’ actually means – torn between the two.
I read a post on The Pool recently where the writer reflected on her previous ten years, then looked forward to the next ten and what they might have in store. I should probably tell you now, that she was only 31 years of age – a mere spring chicken in my eyes. Whilst her list got me lingering wistfully after my thirties, it also enabled me to consider her ‘hopes’ with the benefit of hindsight (bearing in mind she has yet to give birth to any human beings, let alone three).
From hero to zero…
During the last ten years I’ve gone from being entrenched in life with pre-schoolers, to wrestling with the daily grind that comes courtesy of teenagers. I think that my self-esteem has probably gone from hero to zero (thank you kids) and the next decade will be about bringing it back up to an acceptable level – one of the driving forces behind this new blog of mine.
It certainly got me thinking anyway… what would I like to see happening in my life over the next 10 years? Not world-changing things that I can’t directly have any impact on (an end to world poverty or a miraculous re-entry into Europe would be up there) more the things that I can influence in my world and probably need to begin acting on now if they are to come to fruition.
After much thought, I came up with the following
By the time I am 55…
- I want to have finally ditched the stick that I seem to permanently bash myself over the head with. This means accepting myself for who I am – the good and the not so good. I am a work in progress and always will be.
- I want to be spending time in the company of my husband and enjoying it.
- I would like to be doing things because I want to, not because I ought to – less people pleasing and more intentional living.
- I hope to have three happy children (not all still living under my roof!) who are content in whatever situation they are in. As a mum, I want to have struck a good balance between letting go and still being involved. Is that possible? I do hope so.
- I want to have finally reached a place where I don’t look in the mirror and see faults. I would like to be content with the ageing process – I’m certainly not there yet.
- I want to still be actively trying new things with many dreams that have yet to be fulfilled.
- I would like to have conquered my fear of jet lag and able to fly long-haul again. It’s a big world out there that needs to be explored.
- I want to have nurtured the relationships currently in my life, whilst always leaving space for a few more.
- I hope that I will look back and be proud of what I have achieved over the last decade. Of course there will always be some aspects that I’m not so pleased with but I would like to be able to see the positives in those situations.
- I hope to be braver and to believe in myself more, whilst fearing the consequences of failure and the judgement of people less. God’s opinion of me will always count for more.
Time seems to travel by at a quicker pace, the older I get. I guess it must have something to do with the length of time I’ve already been on earth and the percentage that ten years represents. Either way, life is too short for many things and not long enough for others.
Where do you want to be in ten years time? Let’s be intentional about it.
oftencalledcathy7 years ago
Great positive post to brighten up my Thursday! Substitute 65 for 55 and remove the husband bit, and I guess my dreams would be similar. I really hope they work out for you x
Suzanne W7 years ago AUTHOR
I do too. Unless I write them down and reflect on them though, there’s no chance! 55 already? Surely not?! Thanks for commenting and reading 🙂
JanetT7 years ago
Happy birthday! I should probably reflect a little on the next ten years too but I’m not sure I’m as brave as you. I can identify things which will go, such as kids leaving home. So clearly any gains will have to be actively sought out.
Suzanne W7 years ago AUTHOR
I like the way we are all so optimistic about our kids leaving home lol! I do think it’s worth having some time to reflect every so often. Life is short, we need to try to live it well don’t we? Thanks for commenting and reading 🙂
JanetT7 years ago
Mostly, but I fall in to the category of people who are dreading the kids leaving. It’s important to find something positive in that because it WILL happen!
Verily Victoria Vocalises7 years ago
If all goes according to plan then I am going to start the ‘mum’ process all over again – which kind of feels a bit weird! Hopefully it will keep me staying young. This is a great post and I really like your goals. Happy Birthday 🙂 x
Suzanne W7 years ago AUTHOR
So exciting for you Vic! You are already an awesome mum and no one says there are any rules in life. You set your own! Good luck with everything. x
Plutonium Sox7 years ago
Happy birthday! I hope you’ve had a fab day. I was surprised to read that you’re not happy when you look in the mirror. From your photos you always look super stylish. Definitely something to aspire to and I’m surprised you don’t see it. It’s strange what your own warped perception of yourself can do.
Sarah MumofThree World7 years ago
What a great post with some good, realistic aims. Your fear of jet lag reminded me of my general fear of flying which holds me back from travelling a long way. Maybe I’ll conquer that one day too.
Good luck with being where you want to be at the age of 55!
Siobhan Calthrop7 years ago
Such a good reminder in a stage of life where it seems life is one long Monday – Sunday merry go round without time to stop and think. I might just take some time to think through mine, and write them down for myself to look back on, but in there there is definitely the dream of having written and published a book – or two! Sx
Millie7 years ago
Belated Happy Birthday to you – may all your dreams come true!
Claire @ Clarinas Contemplations7 years ago
Hope you had a wonderful birthday Suzanne! Gosh… Ten years from now… Seems a life time away (I will have a houseful of teen and tweenagers… Eek!) But these last ten years have taught me how quickly time flies! God has these next ten years in his hands, and though we dont know what they hold, he does! Lovely to think through some aims and goals though… Better put my thinking cap on!
Michelle Twin Mum7 years ago
I love this, I’m going to have to take yoru challenge and ponder and maybe a blog post wll follow, who knows! Thanks, Mich x
Tracey Williams7 years ago
Love this post Suzanne and like you my husband has just turned 45. It really got me thinking also about the next 10 years. My kids could also have flown the nest by then, and I am excited about a whole new adventure with my husband. Just think how much cheaper holidays are when there are only 2 of you lol. Happy birthday lovely x
Mary Mayfield7 years ago
To be honest, I’m not sure I want to think about 10 years in the future. I’ll have reached bus pass age by then, so can I still dream of being thinner and fitter, or of doing more with my time, or did I ought to be starting to take things lazily? On the other hand, I look at my nearly 80 year old neighbour with her aqua-fitness classes and her (free) bus jaunts to visit her grand-daughter at uni three hours away, and i think there might be positive things to still come.